Do I dare say/hope for MG&MK?
Because remember that one time Gerard said they would never tour as them until MCR was over.
Well. I do.
OKAY THIS IS REALLY BAD FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH DON’T LET ME WISH FOR STUPID SHIT THAT MIGHT NOT HAPPEN OKAY FUCK THIS I SHOULD GO BACK TO SLEEP.
I think this means that whenever I have the money it’s time for me to complete my MCR tattoo set.
I fought back tears in public and on a walk and in front of Chris and now I’m actually c r y i n g. Like. Real tears. So I think I should get off the internet and try not to think and listen to something that isn’t MCR.
Tomorrow I’ll probably make a long and disgusting post about how much they mean to me and why and all of those gross things.
But for now I’m going to bid you goodbye for at least a few hours and do something else.
One of my favorite bands just broke up don’t talk to me don’t touch me don’t look at me I’m just going to cry for 3 days.
He’s too perfect.
When I’m killing myself in college, taking eight credits more than is recommended for a freshman, pursuing two different music majors, when everything feels awful and like I should drop out and life sucks..
I’m going to think of Patrick Stump and My Chemical Romance and everything will be okay.
Because I’ll remember again why I’m doing what I’m doing with my life.
So I can achieve my dreams.
SO yeah, I want a S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W tattoo with the lyrics “Count to seventeen and close your eyes” on it that kind of just sums up the whole song.
You know what I thought of yesterday?
I thought of like (yeah I’m crazy and I have big dreams sue me) if I could somehow have Gerard (yes, Way) draw out a bird (or something else that represents the song) and then have Ray (yes, Toro) write out the lyrics for me and yeah.
If that could happen, I would happily give myself up for dead afterwards because my life would be complete.
But yeah, now I’m like, I’m going to get one of the band members (hopefully Ray) to write the lyrics for me and I might possibly try to get the image to go with it drawn in a way that kind of imitates Gerard’s art style, ya know?
I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. But yeah, if that actual idea could happen my life would be complete and I could die happy.
(I might have already posted about this, but I don’t remember and yeah I am again so it can go into my Ray Toro is my hero tag)
So, as you all know from my spamming/picture posting/just freaking out about it, I won the Buzznet contest and I got to go to an MCR show for free and take pictures from the photo pit for the first two songs of their set.
Well, at the very beginning of their set, something really strange happened.. Ray Toro became an actual living breathing physically there human being to me.
See, this was so weird because I had absolutely idea up to that point that I didn’t think of him as a real person. I mean, he is my hero. Period. I love him, I admire him, I look up to him in so many ways, and I guess that in my head he’d always been sort of just that, an idea I guess, but I didn’t know I thought like that until that moment.
What happened was, I was standing on the right side of the photo pit (that was the side the entrance was on and it was my first time so I was nervous and just stayed there for a lot of the time) and I had just finished getting my camera settings in order. I heard the Japaneses that plays right before NaNaNa, but I guess I didn’t really register that they were coming out, so Ray walked up to his microphone (he was maximum 2 feet away from me) and I looked up and looked up at me and my stomach dropped to my knees.
In that moment, he was real, and he’s stayed real since then. He became a person to me in those few seconds our eyes met.
I almost started bawling my eyes out when it happened. But then I thought of how MCR was the reason I was getting to check something off my bucketlist and to start crying and ruin my chances of taking good pictures would let them down and so I pulled it together and just started shooting.
I got so many pictures of Ray that night, of my hero.
It was a magical night and those few seconds was probably the most magical moment of my life.
You know what I thought of though?
If just seeing him there, a few feet from me, not actually talking to him or anything, makes me have such an epiphany and want to start crying, I can’t even think of how I will be when I finally get to meet him (which will happen. And when it does, I will have a printed picture that I took of him for him to sign).
I have a feeling it will go one of two very extreme possible ways, hopefully the better one.
Anyways, yeah, that was the moment my hero became a real person.
So fucking much.
I can’t even handle him.
And not even in a “OMG HE’S SO SEXY GET IN MY PANTS HNNNNNNNG!” way.
In a way that I just… I don’t even know how to explain it.
I’m going to make a link on my blog where I just talk about how Ray is my hero and yeah this will probably be the first post in it.